Hidden Desires
by ShisouEimin
Summary: James learns something interesting about Logan and decides to do something about it. Warnings inside.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.**

**Warnings: spanking, awkward boys**

**Hidden Desires-**

James stood in front of the couch where Logan was sprawled out, "Come on, Logan," he whined, nudging Logan's foot with his own.

Logan's only reaction was to let out a huge sigh, "I said I didn't want to go to the movies tonight, James. I'm exhausted."

"You promised you'd go somewhere with me if I went to that stupid museum thing with you last week."

"That was before the week of hell. Ask Kendall or Carlos to go with you."

"Kendall is out with Jo and Carlos talks too much. Come on, Logan, please?" He pressed his hands together, bottom lip protruding slightly as he lifted his eyebrows pleading, giving Logan his most earnest puppy dog expression that he knew Logan could never resist.

But Logan just closed his eyes and let out another sigh, "We'll go tomorrow, okay? I just need some sleep."

James growled in annoyance and leaned over to grab Logan's wrist, tugging on it to make him get up. But Logan just turned into dead weight, leaning back and grabbing onto the back of the couch with his other hand for good measure. James glared at him and forcefully flung Logan's arm away in annoyance.

The beginnings of a smirk broaden Logan's features before James reached for him again, hands gripping him under the arms. His eyes widen in surprise, "Whoa," he exclaimed as James pulled and successfully plucked him off from the couch.

James let out a triumphant, "Ha!" and grabbed Logan by the waist, lifting him up like he weighed nothing and throwing him over his shoulder.

"What the fuck? Put me down," Logan said angrily, swinging his hand to smack James' ass. It didn't hurt much and James just chuckled, smacking Logan on the ass in retaliation.

Logan wiggled and let out a grunt causing James to smirk slightly, "No," he said, and only laughed when Logan slapped him again. He reflexively gave Logan another smack without thinking about it and before he knew it, they were slapping each other back and forth repeatedly, each smack getting harder than the last until even James was wincing slightly in pain.

"Stop it," James said, his palm falling particularly hard on Logan's ass, his palm stinging at the contact. He was ready for Logan to yell at him, telling him that it hurt, what he hadn't expected was the strangled moan that escaped Logan, or the way his hips jerked against his shoulder slightly on impact.

He blinked in surprise, hand splayed across Logan's backside as the other boy stopped moving completely. He briefly thought that it had just been a noise of pain, but there was no denying what was pressing against James' shoulder.

Before James could think of anything to say, Logan was wiggling again, "Put me down. I'll go with you," he said quietly. It took a moment before James managed to process his words and when he did he quickly leaned over, letting Logan slide off his shoulder.

"Logan…" he started but still didn't know what to say. He stared at Logan's flushed face before his eyes flicked down to Logan's crotch, where it was apparent that he was half-hard.

"Let's go," Logan muttered, turning away from James to grab the keys. He didn't wait for James before he headed out the door and James practically had to run to catch up to him.

They didn't talk all the way to the movie theatre, the air around them awkward and tense. James didn't even try to initiate a make out session during the movie like he had originally been planning. All he could think about was what had happened at the apartment, about the noise Logan had made and how he could make Logan make it again. He didn't mention it though not knowing how to bring it up. How was he supposed to ask his best friend if he liked getting spanked? And how did he offer himself up to doing it without things getting weird between the two of them?

They had only been fooling around for a few weeks, and hadn't gotten farther than hand jobs and the occasional blowjob. But James wanted to. He wanted to try everything, see what he liked and didn't like. They hadn't discussed anything special either of them might be into either but even James had a few things in mind that he especially wanted to try.

When the movie ended, they head straight back to the apartment when normally they would've stuck around to play a few games afterward. The ride back to the Palmwoods was just as silent as the ride to the movies and James hated the way Logan could barely look at him when he muttered a "Good night," before disappearing into his bedroom.

* * *

><p>It took a few days but Logan was eventually able to look James in the eye again and things went back to normal between them. James was sitting on the couch trying to watch TV when Carlos and Logan started wrestling in front of the television. He didn't know what they were squabbling about but he didn't care. All he knew was that it was more than a little distracting and he ended up watching them more than the screen.<p>

He shifted slightly on the couch, leaning forward to get a better view of them rolling around on the floor, each trying to get the upper hand. He'd never admit it, but it was kind of a turn on to watch them go at it.

Carlos eventually managed to pin Logan face down on the ground and James watched as Logan tried to squirm out from under Carlos who was laying half on top of him, leaning with one arm across Logan's back.

James licked his lips quickly as Carlos lifted his hand and he watched as it landed on Logan's ass hard and fast in quick succession as the other boy grunted and squirmed some more. James' eyes flicked to Logan's face and he noticed how Logan was biting his lip, eyes wide and panicked.

"Stop, Carlos," Logan exclaimed, kicking his legs in an attempt to get away from the other boy.

"Say uncle!"

Logan's response was immediate and Carlos almost looked disappointed at how fast Logan gave up but he rolled off of him anyway.

Logan was on his feet in an instant, chest heaving and face flushed. He shot Carlos a dirty look before he glanced at James, cheeks flushing a darker shade of red. James watched as Logan walked off, thoughts swirling in his mind.

He got to his feet as soon as Logan was out of sight, wordlessly handing the remote to Carlos who had plopped himself down on the couch next to him.

"Where are you going?" Carlos asked, looking at him in confusion.

"I'm going to go talk to Logan," James replied absently, waving a hand dismissively at the other boy as he walked away.

He stopped when he got to Logan's closed bedroom door, hesitating a moment before he reached for the doorknob, turning and pushing forward without another second's thought. Logan was sitting at his desk and looked up sharply when he entered, eyes widening minutely before narrowing. "What do you want?"

James quietly closed the door and leaned against it, "Nothing. I just want to talk."

"About what?"

"What happened out there."

"Nothing happened."

"You liked it." It wasn't a question and Logan doesn't respond, silently crossing his arms and turning away in his chair. He knew Logan was embarrassed by it and that bringing it up would only make it worse. But they needed to get it out into the open and then maybe they could do something about it.

He licked his lips quickly, stomach tightening with nerves as he thought of something that would put him and Logan on even ground. "I like when you hold me down," he said, the words came out rushed, running together and he could feel his cheeks heat up with a flush.

Logan spun around to face him, eyes wide, letting out a sharp, "What?"

James swallowed nervously, and looked away, "When we make out, you, uh, sometimes hold my arms down," he said, grabbing onto his wrist with one hand to demonstrate, "I, uh, I think I'd like it if you tied me up…"

He glanced at Logan when the other boy remained silent and found him gaping at him in shock. He cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks growing hotter with embarrassment. "So, it's not that big of a deal, that you like to be, ya know. Isn't this why we started this…thing between us," he asked, gesturing between them slightly.

He had never been able to figure out what to call what they had. They weren't "boyfriends", that was for sure. James still went out on dates and he knew Logan still had feelings for Camille. But 'arrangement' seemed too formal and made him think of hired escorts which was definitely not what was going on between the two of them.

Logan remained silent for a few moments longer before he cleared his throat, "I could tie you up, if you wanted," he said with forced nonchalance and James laughed, relaxing slightly.

"Only if you let me spank you," he said, face heating up once more as he said it out loud.

Logan's cheeks were just as bright as James knew his own were as he nodded shakily, "Deal."

* * *

><p>James had to wait almost a week before they could do anything, all the while regretting that he ever agreed to Logan's one simple rule that the apartment be empty when they messed around. They spent the time researching because Logan had been adamant that if they were going to go through with it, then he wanted James to know what he was doing. So they awkwardly sat in front of Logan's laptop and read about the proper ways for one person to spank another, cheeks flaming as they wandered through links trying to find what they were looking for.<p>

But eventually, Kendall had another date with Jo and Mrs. Knight had made plans to take Carlos and Katie to the skating rink and they finally had the apartment to themselves.

As soon as the door closed behind Carlos, James jumped to his feet tossing the magazine he had idly been flipping through on the coffee table. He quickly made his way to Logan's room where the other boy had disappeared to do "homework" while he waited for everyone to leave.

When he walked into the room, Logan was sitting at his desk, scribbling on a sheet of paper. Well, maybe the homework part hadn't been a lie, James thought, which wasn't really a surprise. He closed the door and leaned against it as Logan looked up at him, "Did they leave?" he asked, placing his pencil down.

James nodded, "Yeah," he said, and walked across the room, stopping a few feet away from Logan. Logan looked up at him almost shyly as he got to his feet. "How do you want to do this…?" James asked, nervously rubbing his palms against his jeans.

Logan licked his lips and took a step closer, "Uh, let's just start with this," he said as he raised his hand, placing it on the back of James' neck. He tugged gently and James leaned down while Logan leaned up to press their lips together.

James placed his hands on Logan's waist and closed the remaining distance between them. This was familiar and something James knew how to do and he quickly deepened the kiss, running his tongue along Logan's bottom lip, nipping gently when the other didn't open up fast enough for him.

Logan let out a small noise, tongue sliding along James' and wrapped his arms around the other boy's shoulders. James squeezed Logan's side gently before he wrapped his arms around Logan's waist, one hand sliding down to grip Logan's ass firmly, pulling him flush against him.

They both moan at the contact, pulling away from each other to gasp for breath. "Fuck," James gasped softly, thrusting his hips shallowly against Logan's, feeling their growing erections rubbing against each other through the denim of their jeans.

James took a step back, hooking his fingers into Logan's belt loops and pulled him along with him. He blindly walked backwards, Logan stumbling along with him until the back of his legs hit the bed. He teetered off balance for a second, grabbing onto Logan's hips tightly as the other boy grabbed at his shoulders to keep him from falling back.

They pulled apart with a gasp and James chuckled breathlessly as Logan rolled his eyes. He tugged James down once more and pressed their lips together, his hand sliding under James' shirt, blunt nails raking across his abs.

James stiffened, groaning softly into Logan's mouth as his hips thrust forward gently against Logan. He raised his arms when Logan lifted his shirt letting the other boy slide it off and toss it to the side. James' hands immediately went to the hem of Logan's shirt to do the same. He let it fall to the floor before placing his hands on Logan's chest, hands sliding down to grip his waist.

"Take off the rest of your clothes and get on the bed," James growled, burying his fingers in Logan's hair before pulling him into a short, forceful kiss then releasing him. Logan stumbled back a bit, chest heaving as he reached down, fingers clambering to open his pants.

James bit his lip and watched as Logan pushed his pants and boxers down, letting them fall down his legs. "Get on the bed," he ordered, when Logan just stood there watching him, head jerking to the bed behind him as he took a step to the side to let Logan by.

Logan glanced at the bed before turning his gaze back towards him, eyes wide before wetting his lips quickly and doing what he was told. James swallowed thickly, eyes fixated on Logan's body as the other boy climbed onto the bed and settled on his hands and knees.

For all that they've fooled around James had never seen Logan one hundred percent naked before and he couldn't help the way his eyes drifted across the expanse of Logan's back, along the curve of his ass. He swallowed thickly and rubbed his palms against his jean-clad thighs nervously.

"We don't have to do this. If it's- If it's too weird or something."

James's eyes darted to Logan's face. The other boy was blushing slightly and James could tell that he was nervous as well, shoulders held stiff and slightly hunched up as if he was trying to hide. He shook his head sharply, "No. It's not that. It's not weird," he added quickly, wetting his lips, "It's just different. Knowing that you em_want_/em me to," he gestured slightly, cheeks heating up, "Ya know…"

Logan chuckled awkwardly, "Right…" he said, with a small nod before quickly turning his face down to stare at the mattress.

James licked his lips and climbed onto the bed, standing on his knees next to Logan. He took a deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart. He placed a hand in the middle of Logan's back and felt him tense under his touch before relaxing once more.

James knew he had to get himself together because if both of them were nervous about this then something was going to go wrong. "Just tell me if you want me to stop," he said softly, running his hand down Logan's back and along the curve of Logan's ass.

Logan shivered lightly at the touch, nodding and moaning softly in acknowledgement. He pressed back against James' hand as he palmed his ass, squeezing gently before sliding his hand down the back of Logan's thighs.

His hand shook slightly as he placed it on the small of Logan's back and lifted the other. He hesitated a moment before letting his hand fall. His palm landed on Logan's ass lightly, barely anything at all and Logan looked over his shoulder at him, "You know, you're going to have to hit me harder than that, James," he said, amusement lacing his tone as he raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up," James muttered, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. He pulled his hand back once more to try again. Logan jumped slightly when his palm connected with his skin, leaving James' fingers stinging slightly and Logan's skin tinged pink.

"That's-that's better," he said, licking his lips quickly and James grinned, pulling his hand back for another hit.

He tried to keep in mind everything he read online, tried to keep it slow and steady before gradually speeding up, each smack heavier than the last and then slowing down again. He wanted to draw it out for Logan, make it as good as he could for him.

It was difficult to concentrate though. Every moan and whimper Logan emitted made James' dick throb with desire. He bit his bottom lip and concentrated on keeping the pace of his arm steady while he gradually added more force behind every hit. It took every ounce of will-power he possessed not to flip Logan over and rut against him until they both came because this was about Logan and giving him what he wanted.

"Do you like that," he asked, voice deep and husky and he wasn't even trying to be sexy, he was honestly curious. He wanted to know if he should go softer or harder, or if he should slow down or speed up. "Is this good," he continued with a particularly hard slap of Logan's ass.

Logan jerked forward, body arching as he nodded vigorously, "Yes, yes, it's amazing, you're amazing, James, I-" the words died in his throat as James' hand landed heavily on the back of his thigh and he cried out, before his arms gave out and he fell face first against his pillow.

James rubbed himself through his jeans as he took in the sight of Logan's ass sticking straight up in the air. He let out a small moan, watching as Logan's skin went from a dull pink to a bright red with just a few well-placed hits. "Fuck, Logan, you have no idea how fucking hot you look right now…" he said, hips jerking against his palm.

The only reply he got was a muffled moan.

James' fingers eventually began to tingle and he paused for a second, chest heaving to run the pad of his thumb over the red mark on Logan's ass. Logan moaned softly, finally lifting himself back up from the pillow and rocking back, "Oh, god, James, touch me, please," he begged softly.

James looked up and found Logan looking over his shoulder at him, hair damp with sweat and sticking to his forehead and lips bitten red. He moaned at the sight, pressing the heel of his hand against the front of his jeans once more before he reached under Logan, wrapping his fingers around Logan's cock gently.

Logan lowered his head as a low groan escaped him, his hips gently thrusting against James' hand as he slowly stroked him, gathering the precome at the tip to make the movement smoother. Logan thrust into his fist as he gently traced random patterns across the skin of his ass with his fingertips.

He suddenly leaned down on impulse, licking a line across the heated flesh of Logan's backside. Logan let out a low moan and he pulled back to blow cool air lightly on it. Logan shuddered, cursing under his breath as he jerked forward.

James sat up again and slapped the spot he'd licked hard causing Logan to cry out softly, head falling down between his shoulders as he rocked between James' hands. He thrust into his fist before rocking back into James' palm eagerly as the taller boy rained hard, quick slaps on his ass and thighs.

"James, James," Logan murmured, hips beginning to stutter erratically. James noticed how his arms were beginning to shake and knew he was close.

"Come on, Logan," he urged, jerking him off with quick flicks of his wrist as he gently dragged his nails along Logan's abused flesh before smacking him again.

Logan came with a shout, throwing his head back as he spilled over onto James' hand and the bed sheets. James worked him through his orgasm, squeezing gently until Logan was shuddering, small whimpers escaping him from too much stimulation as he finally collapsed onto the bed.

James wiped his hand on jean-clad thigh and sat on his heels, palm pressing down against his straining erection. He let out a small moan and hastily pulled his jeans open. He lifted himself slightly, just enough to push his pants and boxers down to free his cock from their confines. Settling back down, he wrapped his hand around his dick, giving it a few quick strokes, his eyes falling shut as he did so, breath coming out on a shuddery sigh.

James bit his bottom lip, moaning softly as he worked himself fast, rough pulls of his cock leaving him breathless. The mattress dipped slightly and James' eyes snapped open to find Logan kneeling in front of him, watching him, eyes dark.

James licked his lips, and Logan's eyes flicked down to his mouth, before he was leaning in, placing one hand on James' chest as the other slid along James' thigh. James' reached forward, grabbing a fistful of Logan's hair as he pulled him in closer, lips colliding almost painfully.

Logan groaned against his mouth, shifting closer as his hand joined James' on his cock, squeezing gently. James' pulled away with a gasp, pressing their foreheads together and looked down between their bodies, watching as their entwined hands moved quickly along his shaft.

He shuddered, eyes closing tightly as everything reached a peak and he was spilling over the edge, groaning low in his throat, hips jerking slightly. Logan kissed him through it, nipping gently on his bottom lip as their hands gradually slowed to a stop.

"Shit," James gasped, shoulders slumping slightly. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Logan's shoulder as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt Logan running his fingers through his hair and smiled slightly, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment.

Eventually, James turned his head to the side and kissed Logan's neck softly before pulling back. He patted Logan's thigh gently as he slid off the bed, kicking his pants and boxers off. Logan let out a small groan but followed suit, getting to his feet as well as James leaned over and pulled the top sheet off the bed.

As soon as James tossed it to the side, Logan crawled back onto the bed, lying on his stomach. James smiled as Logan pressed his face into the crook of his arm and climbed back onto the bed, nudging him over so he could lie down next to him. Logan let out a groan and shuffled over, giving James more room to lay down.

James settled on his side, propping himself up with his elbow as he placed his hand between Logan's shoulder blades. He leaned over to kiss Logan's shoulder as he gently ran his hand down the length of Logan's back.

Logan shuddered and hissed softly when James lightly ran his fingertips along the reddened skin of his ass. It was still hot to the touch and James laid his palm flat against it, fingers spread wide.

Logan let out a small groan and turned his head to look at James, "What are you doing?"

"Does it hurt," he asked, squeezing gently. The whimper Logan let out had his cock twitching and he licked his lips, shifting closer to Logan. He began tracing random patterns onto Logan's skin, fingers barely touching the bruised flesh.

Logan groaned, reaching down to try to swat James' hand away, "If you want to play with my ass so much, rub some lotion on it or something," he said, voice heavy with annoyance.

James chuckled, ducking his head down to press his mouth against Logan's, not pulling away until the hardened line of his mouth softened against his, lips parting under his questing tongue. "Where do you keep the lotion," he asked, slightly breathless.

"In the top drawer," Logan mumbled, waving vaguely to the small bedside table on the other side of the bed. James rolled over and quickly rummaged through it until he found the bottle.

He sat up, flipping the top of the lotion open and squeezed a small amount onto his fingers. Logan hissed when he gently laid his fingers on his skin once more, rubbing the thick, creamy substance in. "You okay?" James asked, concern edging his tone.

Logan gave a quick jerk of his head, "Yeah," he said, voice muffled by the pillow.

James nodded in response even though Logan couldn't see and continued to slowly rub the lotion onto his abused flesh. Logan's skin was still too warm, the friction of James' fingers rubbing against it causing it to become more heated and Logan to groan softly, hips writing under James' fingers.

James squeezed more lotion onto his fingers and concentrated on applying it to Logan's reddened skin. He tried to be as gentle as he could, applying as little pressure as possible, stopping completely when Logan jerked or groaned in pain before resuming his ministrations.

It was a noticeable difference when Logan finally relaxed, shoulders loosening and body seeming to sink further into the mattress. James bit his bottom lip, watching as his fingers lid across Logan's skin, eyes flicking to where Logan had his head buried in his pillow before he slid his fingers between Logan's ass cheeks, slick fingertips sliding over his entrance. Logan jerked under his touch, but otherwise did nothing to discourage James' wandering fingers. He swallowed thickly and reached forward with his other hand, gently parting Logan's cheeks to watch as his fingers slid across Logan's entrance, circling it slowly before he tentatively pressed a finger in.

Logan let out a small moan, hips jerking and pressing back against his fingers, "What are you doing," he asked, panting softly as he pushed himself up slightly, turning at the waist to look back at James.

James snatched his hand away, face warming as he glanced at Logan, "Nothing," he said quickly, averting his eyes.

Logan was silent for a moment and when James turned to look at Logan once more he found the other boy staring at him. "You know, if you wanted to fuck me, all you had to do was ask."

James blinked in surprise, of all the things that Logan could've said that was the least expected. "What?"

Logan shrugged a shoulder, the movement stiff and awkward in his position before he lay back down on his stomach. "I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it either, if you want to try it, we can."

James licked his lips quickly, heart hammering in his chest, "I want to."

Logan laughed, "Of course you do," he said, before stretching, letting out a small moan as he did so, "But not right now. I'm not doing anything with my ass like this," he said, covering his mouth as he yawned.

James chuckled and settled down on the bed next to Logan, draping an arm across his stomach, "Next time then?"

Logan opened one eye to look at James before he rolled over, moving to straddle James' hips. His movements were slow, but James still blinked in surprise when Logan grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the bed, "Next time I'm tying you up, remember," he said, smirking down at James, "But if you ask nicely I might fuck em_you_/em," he added, rolling his hips for emphasis.

James gasped and closed his eyes, moaning softly at the thought, "God, please, yes," he whispered, hips jerking up against Logan's. He tried to free his hands wanting to touch Logan, run his fingers through his sweat damp hair, slide his hands across his shoulders, down his chest and stomach, but Logan only applied more pressure on his wrist, squeezing slightly.

James swallowed thickly. He knew that if he _really_ wanted to, he could break free, roll them over and pin Logan under himself instead. But the fact that he would have to exert more strength than he normally had to had his heart thudding in his chest, breathe quickening as heat pooled low in his stomach.

Logan suddenly grinned, leaning down to press his lips against James briefly before he released his arms, sliding off of James to settle against his side, arm draped across James' stomach and head on his shoulder.

James let out a small sigh, wondering how long they had until someone came home and if they would have time for Logan to fulfill his end of their bargain that same day; he didn't think he could wait another week or more to be with Logan again.

He ran his fingers along Logan's side as he thought, then chuckled softly. He felt Logan tilt his head up as he mumbled, "What?"

James shook his head, "Nothing," he said, grinning. "I was just thinking about how funny it's going to be to watch you try to sit later."


End file.
